Our attitudes reflect what we say and do, and how we say and do things. They mirror our deep seated feelings. Our attitudes influence our progress in life. They anchor us in places of darkness and despair, or they allow us to exercise the option to feel happy, secure and good about ourselves. The expression, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood,” means that we can find gratitude and appreciation for anything that has happened in our lives when our attitude becomes one of forgiveness. No situation is ever hopeless, but people do lose hope. Forgiveness changes our attitudes by allowing us to let go of the past hurt and see the lessons gained for ourselves.

The victim and martyr are too very unhealthy attitudes. Living in states of self-pity, arrogance, self-righteousness, resentment, anger, superiority, embarrassment, shame, guilt and fear result in misery. Thinking, “If only___ happens, I could be happy,” leaves us feeling deprived. Most things are beyond our control and we put our happiness on hold if we insist on life going our way. Doom and gloom may be familiar, but they’re optional. What we experience in life is not as important as how we interpret the experience. Whenever we change our attitudes, the situations and people always change.

No matter what happens, we can ask ourselves, “How important is this?” Taking a “Live and let live” attitude allows others to be who they are and invites us to find ways to accept them. Our inability to accept others comes from not accepting ourselves. Those who irritate us the most are our greatest teachers. Kahil Gibran says, “We learn silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind.” When we take care of ourselves, we detach from any obsessions about people, places and things not going our way.

Hurricane tracking teaches us, “This too shall pass.” Life is as good as we think it is. Fear shuts us down and keeps us unhealed. It gives power to the unhealthy parts of ourselves that tell us it’s unsafe to be ourselves and that we’ll never change. Love opens us up and heals us. It allows us to express our truth from the heart. If we blame, we don’t have to feel our own shame. We run when facing fear and hurt seems too difficult, and we freeze up because frozen hearts don’t have to feel pain. Feelings may be uncomfortable but they’re never bad. Changing our attitudes gives us a choice about what to do with our feelings.   

A farmer found a magical flute that he thought would charm his hens into laying more eggs. He played the flute all day but received no more eggs than usual. When asked by his neighbor if he’d had any success, he replied, “Yes, it wasn’t a day for egg-laying, but it was a great day for music.” We are constantly given opportunities to make choices about how to perceive our world. If we draw a line down a piece of paper and on one side write our grievances and the other what we’re grateful for, we’ll find that the list is very similar, the difference is our attitude toward them.

After thunder and lightning, there’s a rainbow.  Silk worms are fat, greedy creatures who out of their own substance create something beautiful. We, too, can spin a little silk and let it grace everything we touch.   As our attitudes change, we can delight in the great people we are becoming.

Please write to me at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com and feel free to browse previous articles at www.sandyislands.com under publications.