My husband and I had a minor disagreement the other day. It was an unimportant topic that we both let escalate as we took each other’s reactions personally. Both of us wouldn’t let go of being right. I was acutely aware immediately after I’d let my emotions get too intense that I felt almost hung-over. I recognized that no matter how far I’ve come in my growth, the default setting was still to blame. I saw where at several points in the verbal volleyball I could have let go of my need to be right and chosen peace instead. We apologized later as we always do. I realized that no argument is ever won because we usually walk away feeling bad about ourselves if we’ve spoken in a mean way. I was reminded that nothing can ever disturb me if I choose to change my mind about my perceptions.

No one can get under our skin, no situation can haunt or frighten us and no longer will the anticipation of future events hold us hostage. I thought about the futile hours I’ve spent in our twenty-two years together trying to change him and other circumstances in my life. Fear propels the desire to fit in. If someone or something would be different, we’ll feel safe. Instead our fears grow and the number of situations we’re trying to control multiplies. At every moment our feelings stem from fear or love. It’s impossible to be in both states at the same time.

In order for my stubborn ego to let go, I ask the Universal Spirit to help me see whatever’s happening in another way- even through the eyes of the person I’m upset with. I trust that this voice of reason outside of my small thinking is ever present even if I’m not listening. Sometimes, when I am listening, I won’t always follow the Divine Guidance being offered. Recognizing God’s presence is the beginning. Our egos usually keep us too busy to evaluate our thoughts and actions. All discomfort is a clue that our minds have wandered from the presence of peace. We have all the time we need to discern the difference between the voice of Spirit and our egos. How can we tell if we’re responding from our lower or higher consciousness? If the actions we take or the words we say are loving, we’re coming from our higher consciousness. Everyone we meet, everywhere we go is in a scene from our life drama. Each encounter is an opportunity to interact with other players who help us get in touch with our spiritual needs. The more difficult the scene or the relationship, the greater the opportunity is for growth and healing. As we look at our part, we gain more tools for living.

It’s a waste of precious time to let guilt over mistakes and missed opportunities to plague us. We’re so hard on ourselves, expecting to conquer every challenge, to always know how to solve every problem the first time. Yet, we allow our children and others to practice walking, catch a ball, ride a bike or learn a new skill. Let’s look for every opportunity to shift our perceptions no matter how frustrating they may seem. Instead of letting anger and fear control us, let’s pause, ask for a new vision and watch it miraculously take form right before our eyes. The more we visit the light, the more clarity we’ll find and the more peaceful we’ll become. Our best teachers are only a thought or an encounter away. Every time we’re upset, we can choose peace and evaluate our lives through the eyes of love.

Please write to me at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com or feel free to browse previous articles under publications at www.sandyislands.com