By Dr. Sandy Islands for Conch Color
Happy Thanksgiving! Can we be grateful in the midst of our economic crisis and the doom and gloom prevailing from the media each day? We think we’re in a state of need. We want more money, more possessions, more beauty, more friends, etc. Our agitation comes from the belief that we aren’t getting what we want and think we deserve. The irony is that what we think we lack is supplied to us when we give it. We can heal the lack we feel by extending ourselves lovingly to others. Giving love is free. The situations where our giving is most needed may not appear as pleasant opportunities. It’s hard to grasp that the more we give unconditionally, the more rewards we’ll receive. The more we give away what we want, the more it will come back to us. What ever we give or withhold, we are doing to ourselves. We make room in our hearts for more each time we give away what we want. Extending love to you heals me.
Human behavior is flawed. Sometimes we’ll experience rejection and betrayal from the friends and co-workers who we’ve offered the most love and support. We expect our positive actions to be returned like a boomerang. Can we forgive them for not be able to offer us what we expect in return right now? Hopefully, they’ll pay it forward later just as we’ll receive our rewards from other unexpected sources. What we get should never determine what we give. Being giving is an attitude. A smile, a listening ear can be the best we can do some days. When we think only of love and forgiveness, we create the space for more love and forgiveness. It isn’t easy to feel grateful in troubling times, but when we fill this moment with gratitude, the next one may bring us blessings. When we focus on our problems we forget about the good things that are happening. Let’s be grateful for what we have, not for what we want. Making a gratitude list that begins with feeling thankful for our food, clothing and shelter is a good place to begin. We can wake up each day grateful for the sun shining or the rain falling that helps the plants grow. Taking a few moments as we lay our heads down at night to be grateful even on our most troubling and confused days will bring us peace. Helen Keller said, “Everything has its wonders, even in darkness and silence, I learn whatever state I’m in to be content.”
Our greatest weaknesses become our greatest strengths as they provide us opportunities for growth that we’d never have had without them. Anything can be used for our good. Through our adversity we can find value because as we face our problems head on, they helps us to change for the better, deepen our faith and add to our self-esteem. The Chinese word for crisis has two symbols: the first is danger and the second is opportunity. Let’s look for the good hidden in every encounter and learn to appreciate our small accomplishments each day. Whenever we take time for gratitude, we’ll perceive a better world. Let’s be proud survivors of the struggles we’ve already walked through that brought us to where we are today. Ursula LeGuin said, “It’s good to have an end to journey towards, but it’s the journey that matters in the end.”
As the series of positive and negative incidents unfold in our lives each day, hour by hour, let’s take a detached view and find gratitude in the most common place things. Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘Thank You,’ that would suffice.”
Please write to me at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com and feel free to browse previous articles under publications at www.sandyislands.com