We live in a society that focuses on the final product, the end result. We don’t give much credit to the process. When we visit a newly built model home, we don’t see the construction site and debris beside the finished decorated unit. We take pictures of our designer wedding cake or envy the movie star making a new fashion statement. We don’t think about the flour and egg shells on the counter, mound of dishes in the sink, or silk cuttings waiting to be swept off the studio floor.

As I gut my way through physical therapy, measuring my progress in one degree increments through the grueling process of bending my new plastic and titanium knee, I try to focus on each exercise I’m doing and not compare my progress with the client who’s ready for discharge and about to take a brisk jog by the beach. I try to be grateful that I was walking without crutches by day seven and driving by day ten. For many years, I’ve found great peace and relaxation in doing needlepoint. It’s become a metaphor for life. One hole at a time is filled with thread until the canvas unfolds and is finished into a pillow, purse, or wall hanging. The process is very relaxing and is a physical manifestation of time well spent. Once the project is complete, my relationship with it changes. I admire and enjoy what the canvas has become but not quite as much as the process. I look forward to starting my new empty canvas.

Edison said that “genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Matt Damon shared in an interview about one of his earliest roles in the movie Courage Under Fire that he had ten lines with Denzel Washington. He received very little recognition and had to lose forty pounds in two weeks which caused him months of physical suffering to recover from putting his body through the ordeal. The interviewer asked if it was worth it and Matt said, “Absolutely, I got to work with Denzel.” He added that if an actor is only focused on the fame and fortune of the end result, then they’re in the business for the wrong reason. The hours of rehearsal, discovering new deeper elements of the character and as a young actor having the privilege to work with and observe Denzel’s talent and technique made all that he had to go through worthwhile.

I would like to invite each reader to think about a process you’re going through now- one that may seem slow and laborious- one that you may ask yourself, “Is it worth it?” It doesn’t matter whether it’s a new job, learning a new skill, a relationship, project or even the sad and difficult process of caring for an aging parent. Let’s ask ourselves what have we been focusing on? Are we enjoying the process or at least recognizing the inherent lessons involved or are we resentful and impatient for the end result?  Focusing on the process brings us into the present moment and allows us to let go of feeling overwhelmed while thinking, “ Ill never get through this.” How about getting through it today? At the end of the day, let’s pat ourselves on the back for what we did accomplish rather than focusing on what’s left to do.  

I recall a period of my life where I felt resentful because I perceived that I was doing the bulk of the domestic duties at home without much help. I chose to reframe my perspective and see that I was serving my family in ways that they greatly appreciated. I had less work outside the home and was carrying less of the financial burden. When I changed my perception of doing my chores from drudgery to service, I found myself enjoying the process and appreciating the end results. No matter what we’re going through, it’s always a process and this too shall pass.

Please write to Dr. Sandy Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com and browse previous articles at www.sandyislands.com- publications.