The universe loves to give me opportunities to practice what I’m writing about in this column. On Thanksgiving eve, I noticed my computer was acting up so I turned it off. The next morning, I saw that my internet security program was deactivated. After twelve hours on the phone with the internet provider and Dell, it was determined that my computer had contracted a virus and was crashing. After many more hours of backing up data, I had to restore windows. At first, I blamed the internet provider and became very righteous about it. I felt victimized and whined like a good martyr to anyone who’d listen to how I’d spent my four days off from work. None of the latter contributed to my happiness or allowed me to feel good about myself. Consumed with regret and difficulty, I was stuck. By Sunday, I told myself to “Snap out of it. How important is this really? How long will I choose to be miserable and when will I lighten up? Most importantly, when would I forgive myself for not being aware of the problem in time to save my computer?”

Forgiveness makes it easier to move through difficulties and let go of accumulated offenses and disappointments. The harmony between intelligence and forgiveness means that we don’t forget the offense; instead we understand what went wrong and how it happened. Things aren’t made right by forgetting and doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. The truth is ─ in the cleanup process I learned a lot about my computer because the event happened, not to mention getting to speak to technicians who were working in India where Thanksgiving isn’t celebrated. Moving through challenges we find greater understanding, awaken new abilities and discover new readiness. We cannot release grievances against others until we look at ourselves and fully understand our part in the event. Even, if it’s simply that we let it happen. Forgiveness is not a sacrifice where we submit passively to repeated abuse. The purpose of forgiveness is to release negative attachments and apply constructive justice to the situation so true enlightenment can be attained. The reason to forgive is to restore love, not continue unworkable or destructive situations. Forgiveness is always practical. The closer we are to the offender, the more important it is to forgive. It’s most important to forgive ourselves.

Life provides new opportunities to understand and refresh our lives, just like I had to do with my computer. Clean out the clutter and start anew. We cannot navigate life looking through the rear-view mirror. We have to adopt a forward approach as life unfolds in the present for good reasons. It’s our job to find out what the reason is. Complete truth is found at the place where inner awareness and outer reality are one. When we accept that nothing happens in God’s world by mistake and we’re right where we need to be, we empower synchronicity. We can only find serenity when we accept that whatever’s happening and who ever it’s happening with, is exactly how it’s supposed to be. The holidays give us ample practice ground to delve into the past as we spend time with our families. It’s important to honor those who’ve come before us. We give new life to their work and service by applying it to the future. It’s important to let go of patterns we’ve learned that don’t serve our highest good. Let’s remember to celebrate life with love, not just rituals. If we keep it simple this holiday season and concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in our families but on what needs to be changed in ourselves and our attitudes, peace will prevail.

Please write to Dr. Sandy Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com and feel free to browse previous articles at www.sandyislands.com – publications.