By Dr. Sandy Islands for Conch Color
On the eve of taking the
Let’s think of people who we have to spend time with that test our patience to the point of exhaustion. Can we find compassion or do we stay stuck in resentment and judgment? Having the presence of mind to set aside minor annoyances and ask ourselves, “How important is it to be right at this time,” takes a great deal of effort. We look beyond our anger and exchange fits of intolerance for acts of kindness. It requires accepting and loving others and ourselves just as we are. It’s painful to watch loved ones in the grip of self-destruction. Treating anyone who’s sick and suffering with contempt only makes a bad situation worse. Condemning others just distracts us from the real cause of our own misery. Offering compassion lets others face the consequences of their actions even when it causes them pain. We’re then set free to own what is ours and let them own what is theirs. We can love and care for others, identify with their feelings but not be sucked into their pain. We can see them as children of God, just like us. It’s impossible to judge someone and have compassion at the same time.
Those of us who’ve lost loved ones suddenly and unexpectedly know that life is precious, priceless and unpredictable. We don’t want to waste a minute on self-pity, worry, guilt, resentment or anger. Compassion will replace anything that stands in the way of being the kind of people we want to be. It leaves us with good memories and shortens the trail of regrets. Compassion toward ourselves helps to release resentments that eat at our heart and soul. We recognize that our journey through life is about progress, not perfection, and there’s no time like the present to let go of anything that destroys our peace of mind. Perhaps the degree of our humanity can be measured by our ability to know another’s joy and pain. We can learn to be the kind of person we’d like to have as a friend. Can we love and accept those people who push our buttons the most? When we ask ourselves, “How am I that way? If I were in their shoes, how would I want to be treated,” compassion prevails. None of this is easy and we have to take an honest look at ourselves to practice new attitudes.
I’ve found compassion for the director of licensure who would not make an exception and exempt me from taking the test. I will compassionately walk into the test site tomorrow trusting that my years of practice will shine through and that my intuitive insight will light up the correct answers. I’ll refrain from judging others because I’m only judging myself. Each time we give someone patience and compassion, we give this gift to ourselves as well. The choice is ours.
Please write to me at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com and feel free to browse previous articles under publications at www.sandyislands.com