By Dr. Sandy Islands for Conch Color
In light of the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech, our hearts and prayers go out to the victims, their families and the shooter’s family who also must be suffering greatly. This event reminds us of how important it is to practice looking at ourselves first. When we stop and disconnect from what we’re blaming for our unhappiness, we have a tool to restore peace and serenity. From the simplest moments of forgiveness extended to the driver who cuts us off in traffic to the ability to admit our biggest mistakes and make amends, we are practicing this art.
It’s hard to fathom the mental illness that justified the perpetrators of 911 or the lonely student at Virginia Tech. We observe these events in shock and struggle with the notion that if “Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake, how could these events have happened?” We try to grasp how our fellow human beings can rationalize these fatal decisions and destructive acts with the voice of righteousness indignation.
It’s been said that “evil” is “live” spelled backwards. It’s been said that all emotions stem from fear or love. Let’s take a look. We’re not born hating. Our bodies are born with two natural fears─ falling and loud noises. All others are learned or reactions to events outside ourselves. When we live in fear, we live in worst-case-future-scenarios. Fear fuels judgment, jealousy, racism, sexism homophobia, religious wars, arrogance and anger to name a few. It’s a state that says, “My mind is closed because I’m afraid to know, accept and embrace someone new and different from me.” The only antidote is love which fuels faith, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude. Faith is projecting best-case-future scenarios. Love and fear cannot occupy the same space. Our job is to clean up our cobwebs of fear and open our minds to the light.
In the media frenzy, we’ve watched and heard the shooter spewing hatred and blame to justify his actions. We cannot imagine what molded this young man’s point of view, his deep seated self-hatred, isolation and insecurity that led to his final acts. His locked-in deranged thinking was his true enemy. The family of the shooter is most likely feeling guilt. Everyone who knew this young man must wonder what they could have done to help, to intervene, to prevent this tragedy. Guilt seeks punishment. It’s living in the past and beating ourselves up. It’s a waste of energy. We’re human, we make mistakes. Let’s learn from the past so we don’t repeat the mistakes in the future. What good can come from this to prevent the reoccurrence? It may sound strange, but change can start right here, right now by looking in our own mirrors.
There’s a saying in the community of recovering addicts and alcoholics that goes, “We can’t think our way into a new way of living. We have to live our way into a new way of thinking.” Let’s appreciate the gift of awareness today as we sing:
“Our thoughts are prayers and we are always praying.
Our thoughts are prayers; listen to what you’re saying.
Seek a higher consciousness, a state of peacefulness,
And know that God is always there,
And every thought becomes a prayer.”
Please write Dr. Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com