By Dr. Sandy Islands for Conch Color
One day last week, I awoke on the wrong side of the bed. I forgot to take a moment and be grateful that I was alive and that I was starting a new day. I left home for work frustrated with my family and feeling resentful ― there was a black cloud hanging over my head. As the day unfolded, I found myself unaware that I was judging and criticizing everything that was happening. I hadn't stopped to observe my thoughts and the subsequent feelings created that sent more darkness into my cloud. Of course, more things started to go wrong. I was attracting and creating "accidents," chaos and crisis with every move I made. By late afternoon, the thought of stopping for a drink sounded like a good idea. (I have 14+ years clean and sober). That thought awakened me from my living nightmare and I prayed for help to change my attitude. The voice deep within answered, "What are you grateful for right now?" My mental list started with gratitude that I was walking on both feet, that I was alive and breathing fresh air, that it was a beautiful sunny day, etc. I started noticing people smiling at me as they passed. I smelled the flowers blooming on the tree near by and within a few minutes, I could feel the black cloud lifting, the tension unwound in my neck, and the elephant lifted off of my chest.
Welcome to the "G" in the A-Z's of "Just looking at ourselves." Like forgiveness and faith, gratitude is a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it grows, and the more grateful energy we have available for our own and other's benefit. To be grateful is to find blessings in everything. Imagine that no matter what happens in our day that it's ultimately for our good and the good of others. Alan Cohen says, "Converting the focus of your energy from criticism and judgment to gratitude will change your life forever. Gratitude and generosity are two sides of the same divine coin." When we're grateful for what we have and what we receive, we'll naturally and joyfully want to share our abundance with others.
Feelings and emotions are not the result of what happens to us. They are the channels through which we direct our creative energy to shape our experience of life. The feeling of gratitude is one of the strongest, most affirmative spiritual energies at our command. When we say, "thank you," to life for our lessons (the challenges) and our blessings (the gifts) we are attracting more experiences to be grateful for. In an old Japanese story, a fellow Buddhist asked a wise woman, how he could put his heart to rest. She replied, "Every morning and every evening and whenever anything happens to you, keep on saying, "Thank you for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever." Let's for one day resolve to not criticize or judge anything that happens? Let's not be pulled in by the judgmental attitudes of others. Let's instead give an entire day to the celebration of good!
True gratitude is a dynamic way of living that celebrates God's rich abundance and infinite possibilities. Four principles to practice that enable us to multiply the good in our lives are: 1) Become conscious of the good in our lives. 2) Praise the good in our lives. 3) Share our good with others. 4) Look for the good even in the negative. Every challenge or problem in our lives has a gift hidden within it. Even if that opportunity is merely to grow in consciousness, the ability to look at ourselves and our part in every situation. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the potential to realize good from it. Let's start now by keeping a mental or written gratitude list everyday. At the heart of all success is gratitude and at the heart of all gratitude is love.
Please write to Dr. Sandy Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com