“Kindness” brings up many images of the blessings we’ve received and the benevolence we’ve given. The movie, Pay it Forward with Kevin Spacey brought home ways to perform random acts of kindness without needing to take any credit. We might simply dispose of a piece of litter that isn’t ours, or leave an extra dollar tip that we’re afraid we can’t afford. We might anonymously donate millions to charity. Kindness is a willingness to perform good deeds, a deep seated character trait ─ the habit of responding to life with consideration.
Kindness is lending a sympathetic ear when we don’t think we have the time. It’s not reacting when we feel angry because we know that acting out those feelings won’t serve ours or the receiver’s highest good. When we’re disappointed with someone’s response to us, kindness is making an extra effort to be warm and loving regardless of what they did. It’s not easy but when we reach this level we are also giving love to ourselves. If we look closely at the saying, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” we realize that how we treat others is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Oscar Wilde said, “To love ourselves is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Kindness is seeing those activities that we feel are drudgeries as dances of service. Struggle is an attitude, not an act. We must value inner peace more than struggle. Do we live with generosity and grace? Do our daily attitudes contribute to the sum of love in the universe or the sum of fear? Do we flow through life easily or is each day harder than the last? Living easy liberates our energy. Ease accomplishes more than working from states of fear, agitation and stress. If happiness is an inside job then it starts with being kinder and gentler traveling companions with ourselves first.
Consider the possibility that nothing automatically causes stress. Outside events have no power over us except how we view and react to them. When we see all events as lessons and blessings; we begin to experience everything as an invitation to be kinder to ourselves. Not just the obvious blessings, like when we’re in the car backing out looking one direction and something tells us to stop. A bicyclist zooms by who we’ve just avoided hitting. Sometimes blessings are gifts wrapped in paper that looks like a challenge. No matter what package the experience comes in, a lesson or a blessing is usually all that remains.
Let’s take a moment and compare how we treat ourselves to how we service our cars. We are four cylinder beings ─ Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual. Are some of our cylinders rusting, while others are getting burned out? How might we extend greater kindness to our own well being to stay tuned up? If we think up to 90,000 thoughts/day, it’s impossible to be aware of each one. Every thought we think sends a chemical into our body. When we’re upset, agitated, or frustrated our brain pumps cortisol, the flight or flight chemical. When we’re relaxed and happy, it sends endorphins which are natural pain relievers and mood elevators. Our bodies are the temples of our spirits. How is your model running?
Imagine that when we leave this world all experience is seen from its highest perspective. Love and kindness is what we’ll remember and take with us, and we’ll leave behind the love and kindness we extended. All the drama will end up on the cutting floor in the editing room of our life story ─ merely vehicles for the healing that occurred. Please write to Dr. Sandy Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com