Volumes have been written yet most of our early programming about love and romance is an illusion. Love is being our true selves which comes directly from the Source of ─ That Which Creates All That Is, the indefinable everlasting fountain of existence. Our false selves are who we thought we were when we forget that ─ we are love. Love has no opposites. God is love. Outer peace comes from feeling harmony and acceptance within ourselves first. We must listen to our voice of self-love and move forward from our strengths not our weaknesses. Love is always humble, never arrogant.
When we forget who we are, we’re drawn to people who embody the character traits we believe we are lacking. The “one” we’re searching for is in here not out there. When we set out to find someone to make us feel complete, we are denying that we are already whole. The wedding ceremony where the bride and groom hold their individual candles, then light a third one that represents their union, only to blow out their own implies that “the two become one.” In fact two people who need each other to feel complete become smaller. We must find ourselves before we can find the partners we seek. Before we can know our
soul mate, we must know our soul.
No relationship can make us more than we are. Good relationships bring out our best qualities and help us to recognize our greater worth. We attract people who mirror how we feel about ourselves no matter what package they come in. Our invisible self-esteem magnets attract a partner whose sense of security matches our own. How much time, energy and effort have we invested into finding “The One?”
If our love stems from someone fulfilling our needs, we affirm our weakness and build our house on sand. Have we sought what we are lacking or are our partnerships based on honoring the individual while we serve and support each other with encouragement and confidence?
Our partners become exactly what we think about them, and we always get more of what we focus on. Do we look for faults or divine attributes? Do we seek perfection or preciousness in our partners? All of those habits we found so adorable in the beginning become what irritate us most. What we judge in our partner is really the voice in ourselves that tells us we’re not good enough. It’s the voice that’s never satisfied. The quickest way to free ourselves from someone who irritates us is to love and accept them with those irritating traits. Every relationship is an opportunity to practice forgiveness and understanding.
When we see others through the lens of compassion and forgiveness, the light of love shines on us. We’ll never be able to manifest the relationships we want until we can give ourselves what we expect from our partners. We must be willing to give love to our partners, our children, and our co-workers before we receive it. Let’s go forth and Be the Love that we are! A noted poem says it all.
They drew a circle to keep me out,
But God and I were bound to win.
We drew a circle that kept them in.
Please write to Dr. Sandy Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com