By Dr. Sandy Islands for Conch Color
Ahh…peace of mind and serenity - those elusive states that allow us to walk through life responding to whatever is delivered like “water off a duck’s back.” Serenity is not the end of pain. It’s the ability to flourish peacefully in the midst of what ever challenges life delivers. When we have inner peace, no one can take it from us. What we resist usually persists and holding resentments turns us into victims with great cost to our self-esteem. True serenity creates inner security that frees us to live life fully and passionately. We tap into the unlimited Source of energy and wisdom that’s always there. Someone once said, “Things that are urgent are rarely important and things that are important are rarely urgent.”
Practicing acceptance is the path to peace. Acceptance opens the door to personal growth. There are only two ways to change any situation. We can either leave it or change our perception of it. Acceptance is a process of looking at life’s challenges and losses as gifts from God to help us grow spiritually. Distorted perceptions rob us of our peace. It’s difficult to be accepting when we feel hurt and angry. I’ve come to use the “Serenity Prayer” to distract myself from my “little mind’s” thinking. The little mind blames and lives in the perpetual state of victim hood and martyrdom. Let’s break down a situation in our lives that we have a difficult time accepting. Think of an irritating habit that someone you live with does and will not change. Now, let’s practice this new lens to change our perception…
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (my loved one’s habit), the courage to change the things I can, (my judgments of the habit), and the wisdom to know the difference.” (I can’t change anyone but myself.) If we don’t like the word “God,” then think of any Source that’s bigger than our little minds and personalities. Trust that this Energy is real, loving, wise and available to us always. We may need to repeat this prayer a few times before we feel serenity wrap us in a cozy blanket of peace. When we project serenity, courage and wisdom, we attract it back to us like a magnet.
When we choose to re-direct our perceptions, we enhance our personal growth and satisfaction. When we choose to let go of responsibility for another’s decision, we don’t waste our energy figuring out their life, instead we’ll have insights that bring us peace. If we’re minding someone else’s business, we’re not minding our own. Let’s not let other people rent space in our heads.
Learning to maintain peace of mind and serenity is like learning any new skill. We have to practice new behaviors to change our thinking. We may set aside time in our day for quiet meditation, or practice meditation in motion by moving our bodies until our minds goes blank. Writing in a journal can also help. When we live at peace with ourselves, we’ll live at peace with others. Henry David Thoreau said, “Let’s spend our day deliberately as Nature, and not be thrown off track by every nut shell and mosquito’s wing that falls on the rails.” Please write to Dr. Sandy Islands at sandyislands@hawaii.rr.com